Five Points’ $17.50 Bacon Cheeseburger: Fancy Does Not Equal Delicious

Date May 12, 2009

In the spirit of recession-era dining, NYC Food Guy is here to help you spend your money wisely with one of the first disappointing reviews since Despana’s Chorizo & Churros back in October.  The cheeseburger at SoHo’s Five Points Restaurant looks and sounds magnificent in all of its seventeen-dollar-and-fifty-cents-of-sauteed-red-onion, smokey-bacon-and-white-cheddar-topped glory.  And while each of the ingredients–including the toasted bun and the fatty, juicy, cooked-to-order burger–are delicious on their own, their flavors fail to create harmony, resulting in a fancy burger that’s just not worth its price.  Read on to find out which part of the burger you can do without and if there were any redeeming qualities at this entire meal…


“Indeed The Tears Live in an Onion…”

When Williams Shakespeare wrote “Antony & Cleopatra” in the 1600s,  something tells me he didn’t know his words would describe my feelings about the onions on Five Points’ burger.  Not listed on the menu, the “fried onions” offered to us upon ordering were soggy and sauteed in something tart, perhaps balsamic vinegar.  They didn’t blend with the thick cut, super smokey bacon, the creamy white cheddar or the perfectly fatty burger.  They certainly didn’t enhance the sandwich.


The fries, on the other hand, are excellent.  Crispy, hand cut and oozing potato, they saved what turned out to be an ordinary burger dressed in fancy clothes.  Save your $17.50 and go feast at the Red Hook Ball Fields!

15 Responses to “Five Points’ $17.50 Bacon Cheeseburger: Fancy Does Not Equal Delicious”

  1. will said:

    hey, i went here when i was in NYC in january. we really liked this place. the bloody marys were very good, very peppery, and the pancakes, although not perfect, were also very tasty.

  2. nono said:

    that’s redic!!! who do these people think they are? i guess i should try it before i have such a strong opinion, although……….. brotha PLEASE!!!
    a burger should only cost that much at some fancy hotel (and i still wouldn’t order it). 🙂

  3. Gilda MacDonald said:

    Lawrence, we need your expertise. My husband is craving the ultimate chicken pot pie. He had one at Bobby Van’s. Nice top crust, no lower crust. This guy is a two crust man. Can you refer us for a proper pot pie?

  4. The NYC Food Guy said:

    I’m not a huge pot pie guy. I like them I just hardly ever get them.
    Here are a few places I know have good food and are known for their Irish pedigree, places I could imagine having great chicken pot pies:

    Donovan’s Pub – Also an awesome burger with fried onions
    57-24 Roosevelt Ave., at 58th St. Woodside, Queens

    Chip Shop – also deep fried candy bars
    383 Fifth Ave., at 6th St. Park Slope, Brooklyn

    Molly’s Shebeen – Also great burger
    287 Third Avenue at 22nd street Manhattan

    Tea & Sympathy – British style, more filling than crust
    108 Greenwich Street at Jane Street, West Village

    Playwright Tavern – make sure to dine upstairs
    202 W. 49th St., nr. Broadway Manhattan

    Channel 4 – A cheaper option
    58 W. 48th St., nr. Sixth Ave. Manhattan

    I feel good about all of those places. Definitely get back to me and let me know how it works out. If you’re looking for places in more specific areas, let me know.

  5. sal said:

    this burgers like ten bucks during lunch, why would you go and pay 17 for it food guy? and for 10 bucks its a pretty damn good burger…

  6. The NYC Food Guy said:

    I’m not sure what you’re talking about but I did go to Five Points for lunch and the burger was $17. Are we talking about the same place?

  7. sal said:

    oh wow, my bad food guy. same place, same burger, i was probably hammered when i was there and don’t remember what i paid for it. 17 bucks for a burger is just too expensive…even if it is your favorite burger from brooklyn diner—it’s just too much for a burger, and that’s coming from a burgerlover

  8. introspective said:

    Hey nyc guy, so the only bad thing was the onions?? Otherwise it would be a perfect burger? Seems like a pretty easy fix for 5 Points

  9. porcelain veneers said:

    food guy where have you been??? why no updates??

  10. lauren said:

    Two weeks between posts? This blog has become a joke again. Come on FG, either go hard or go home. I keep putting you back in the rotation only to wonder again and again about your dedication. Was this just an ego thing, or a thing to meet people? What gives?

  11. rachel said:

    seriously wtf food guy where are you?

  12. Anonymous said:

    What he heck is with the looonnnnggg lag between posts. I agree with Lauren

  13. Burger Beast said:

    Wow, that bacon looks beautiful.

  14. laura said:

    good to know. i feel like i keep having mediocre burgers at brunch spots so maybe i should stop having burgers at lunch — james in prospect heights (not that i should have expected more) and little owl (and there i definitely would have expected excellent fries and they were not good). but i used to think 5 points and cookshop were prettly reliable, even if they were pricey, but maybe not.

  15. tontek said:

    but, that super smokey bacon in that burger is CRAZY looking…

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