Above you’re looking at the Good Morning ($4.50), a bacon wrapped deep fried dog resting on top of a slice of American cheese and a fried egg and a bacon wrapped deep fried dog covered in melted cheddar, chili and jalapenos ($6.23), a creation of Lil’ NYC Food Guy aka my brother.

The Good Morning is awesome although the Chihuahua is still my favorite. Read on for more madness.

Temptee Dog

If you’ve ever dreamed of combining cream cheese with a hot dog, you’re in luck. The Temptee Dog, a hot dog schmeared with cream cheese ($4.15), is a regular on the menu. Unfortunately not even adding bacon for $1 made this a truly delicious dog. It was a mediocre combination.

Tater Tots

Crif Dogs is like a grown up kid’s basement playroom. Action figures on the wall, a standup AND a sitdown Miss PacMan machine and an Arkinoid/Centipide machine. It’s only fitting that their side orders are served from the elmentary school lunch line as well: Tater tots ($2.71 small, $3.79 large), perfectly crisp, wafer-like gobs of fried potato goodness. If you hate your arteries, get them chili cheese style ($3.79 small, $4.88 large).

Stoner Packs & P.D.T. (The secret bar)

If you’re lazy or just plain crazy, you can order a Stoner Pack customized for 1 to 4 people. It’s a mystery grab bag of Crif Dog eats. They won’t tell you what you’re getting but how bad can it really be?

No one likes secrets but secret bars are a whole ‘nother story. In this case, P.D.T. (short for Please Don’t Tell) is a unique cocktail bar which can only be reached by passing through a phone booth inside Crif Dogs. I’ve never been, I’m a beer guy, but I’ve heard about two off-menu dogs inspired by David Chang (Momofuku) and Wylie Dufresne (WD-50) Dog, one of which has fried mayo on it.

Conclusion

I love this place and you will too. It gets better everytime though the occasional fatty piece of bacon can spoil the party. This is just the first of many posts which will chronicle everything on Crif Dogs maniacal menu.

Crif Dogs

Miss Menu & I hit 6 spots Sunday and were pleased with every spot except one. Read on for bacon wrapped hot dogs, Thai food in a baguette, excellent Sicilian pizza, authentic Mexican tacos, surprisingly good steamed veggie dumplings, and some unique crepes…

First spot we hit up was Vanessa’s Dumplings where we ordered…

Steamed Vegetable Dumplings ($4.49)…

…which despite NYC Food Guy’s carnivorous inclinations, were pretty tasty. Check out the innards.

We also ordered a Sesame Pancake with vegetables ($2.49).

Review:

The steamed veggie dumplings were delicious. They were freshly steamed and very flavorful. Inside I found mushrooms, scallions, cabbage, carrot, and a little tofu.

The sesame pancake, despite its lack of sesame seeds, was spot on. It was fluffy inside and crisp on the outside. The vegetables were fresh and flavorful. Cucumber, cilantro, carrot, bean sprouts, and shredded lettuce were all dressed in a very light vinaigrette-like substance.

Total price with two drinks: $9.65

Open until: 10:30PM

Walking south on 14th street, Thai Me Up was next…

You’re looking at just one half of the Black Pearl Sandwich we ordered…

… Seven vegetables plus chicken in a sweet soy sauce flavored with sauteed Thai seasonings, something our gracious host Amir called “The BBQ sauce of Asia.” Lettuce, tomato, a touch of mayo and some additional spices are added before serving.

Review:

Excellent. When all was said and done, this was my favorite meal of the tour. The Black Pearl Sandwich was a total break from the norm. Steam fried and sauteed mushrooms, corn, cabbage, peppers, carrots, and broccoli, plus lettuce, tomato, a little mayo, sprouts, and some additional spices added post-sautee, all inside a fresh, hollowed out baguette. It was like an entire Thai meal in a sandwich, a revolutionary idea. At first, the Black Pearl Sauce was reminiscent of Hoisin sauce, just spicier and more garlicky. As I continued eating, however, the mayo melded perfectly with the Black Pearl Sauce and the vegetables to create a delicious Thai-flavored juiciness that permeated each crispy, steaming bite.

Here’s how Thai Me Up works:

1. Choose your vehicle: Sandwich, Noodles, or Rice.
2. Choose the filler: Tofu, Chicken, or Beef.
3. Choose a sauce: Black or White Pearl.

Everything is steam fried and sauteed with just a tiny bit of canola oil if necessary and then served to order.

Price: $7.59

Open until: 12AM Friday & Saturday, with later hours come summertime

Turning off of 14th onto 1st Ave, Vinny Vincenz was stop number 3…

Sicilian slices are where it’s at. Here’s a look at the pie…

… and the delicious corner slice I ordered…

They also make a mean Margarita slice, as you can see from this pie shot…

Review:

Vinny Vincenz always gets the job done. Their Sicilian slice is light, airy, and crisp with the cheese to sauce ratio favoring the mozzarella, perfect for a Sicilian. The sauce is sweet but mildly bitter and doesn’t overpower the slice. The crust is crispy but not burnt. It’s airy not doughy or gummy like some lesser Sicilians. This is a great late night spot after a night in the East Village. I’ve left Crocodile Lounge, where they give you a free mini pie with every drink, just for a slice of the good stuff at Vinny Vincenz.

Price: $2.35 for a Sicilian Slice

Open until: 4AM Friday and Saturday

While Miss Menu considered waving the white flag, NYC Food Guy was pumped for stop number four, Zaragoza, on Avenue A off 1st…

This chipotle-chicken taco was spicy and delicious…

Take a look at the juicy chicken…

And a nice, light watermelon soda to wash it all down…

Review:

Forget Tehuitzingo and Tulcingo del Valle on 10th Avenue in Hell’s Kitchen, Zaragoza provided the most delicious and authentic taco I’ve had since the Red Hook Ball Fields. The chicken was moist, tender, and fresh. The bite from the chipotle was subtle at first but combined with the chiles in the tomatillo sauce to provide a serious spice. The tomatillo struck a great balance between the chiles, jalapenos, and garlic, all without being too watery. The double tortilla was essential to support the weight of the lettuce, chopped onions and cilantro, and the chicken and green sauce. The Jarritos, a soda imported from Mexico, was candy-like in its flavor but remained light and not overly sweet.

Zaragoza, unwelcoming and unassuming from the outside, is really just a small Mexican grocery store that happens to serve some homemade delicacies. As I watched the friendly owner sprinkle fresh manchego cheese over a massive burrito, he told me Zaragoza is open until 4AM on weekends, a god send for future East Village nights.

Price: $2.25

Open until: 11PM weekdays, 4AM Friday and Saturday

Good thing stop number five, Crif Dogs, was 6 blocks away on St. Marks and A, I needed time to digest…

Because once we arrived, it was time to feast…

NYC Food Guy ordered the Chihuahua, a bacon wrapped hot dog covered in avocado and sour cream ($4.50, add 50 cents for salsa)…

… while Miss Menu went with a Veggie Corn Dog ($4.75)…

… and we split a small order of Tater Tots ($2.50)…

Review:

Wow. Kind of mind-blowing. The Chihuahua was ridiculously delicious and decadent. The bacon was crispy and melded perfectly with the juicy, beefy dog. The bun was ordinary but it didn’t matter this was a Dog Show. The Veggie Corn Dog was nothing special. It was huge and the batter at the edges was tasty, but it wasn’t cooked enough in the middle. The fake beef flavor of veggie dog was too strong for me.

The Tots, however, would have made Napoleon Dynamite jealous. They were crispy, wafer-like, and potatoey on the inside, delicious in a way lunch ladies can only dream of. Spicy yellow mustard and ketchup graced the table while RC Cola products populated the soda gun and a two-headed Stewart’s Root Beer/Red Birch Beer fountain sat at the side of the counter.

Not enough? Crif Dogs has two, yes two, Ms. Pac Mans in store. One is the sit down variety; the other is the standard arcade. Need more? They also have a three-game arcade featuring Millipede, Centipede, and Catan, the similar game with the space ship.

Resting on the border between the East Village and ABC City, Crif Dogs has no delusions as to who they may be catering to with their offer of “Stoner Packs”. Four artery clogging mystery bags of Crif Dogs’ delicacies starting at $10 and ascending $10 more from Pack 1 to 4, the latter something they claim you will never be able to finish.

Price: $7.50 each

Open until: 1AM Sun. & Mon., 2AM Tues. thru Thurs., & 4AM Friday & Saturday

Full yet? NYC Food Guy always has room for dessert. But maybe he should have passed on Cecel Cafe Crepe…

… Where the unique crepes come shaped like ice cream cones and filled with pastry-cream. I ordered the large Apple Tatin…

… which looked like this…

… and like this from above…

Miss Menu wanted some straight up Nutella but the crepe-man misheard and added the pastry-cream…

Review:

Disappointing. The crepes, though thin and cooked fresh, didn’t retain any heat as a result of the refrigerated pastry-cream. The cream itself was what you’d find in a cream puff. Tasty but nothing special. The apples in my crepe were also unheated and as a result my overall reaction was lackluster. Miss Menu was even more disappointed. As if it wasn’t enough that she dealt with her botched order, the Nutella was fake. Yes, impostor Nutella. It was obvious something fishy was going on when it was squeezed from a sauce bottle and it was even more obvious upon first bite. It clearly says Nutella on the menu, but unlike a rose, Nutella by any other name, is not still Nutella.

Price: $4 for the small, $6 for the large

Open Until: 12AM Sunday through Thursday, 2AM Friday & Saturday

————–

Phew. Part I is complete. I’m comfortably full. Then again it’s two days later and I’m still comfortably full. I jest. Truly, this was a great experience. I still have about 35 places on my East Village to do list and I’m pretty pumped for Part II, so keep your eyes peeled eaters because the fun has just begun.

Vanessa’s Dumplings

Thai Me Up

Vinny Vincenz

Zaragoza

Crif Dogs

Cecel Cafe Crepe